My Walls Are Closing In
by CarpeNoctem17
Summary: Lizzie begs Gordo to let her borrow his camera. What's on the tape?
1. Close on Lizzie

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. This is a strange little story that just came to me while I was listening to Linkin Park's "Crawling". You may want to listen to that song as you read, it'll give you a sense of what I was trying to portray. Feedback is lovely; I'd really appreciate people's opinions. This story is betaless, so any and all mistakes are mine.  
  
"Hey..uh Gordo, can I borrow your camera for a little while, I.. have something I need to do." Lizzie's asked Gordo, shifting her weight from one leg to another.  
  
She purposely escaped Gordo's piercing gaze, knowing that her eyes would only betray her. Gordo looked at his friend and observed that something was off, something was wrong. Against his better judgement, he agreed to her strange request. It wasn't that he didn't trust Lizzie with his camera, she was one of the most cautious people he knew, it was.something he couldn't exactly put his finger on. And he didn't like it.  
  
"Thanks, you rock." Lizzie spoke as her friend handed her his camera.  
  
'Now, how exactly do I do this?' she thought to herself as she exited Gordo's room. She decided the best place to do it would be in the Gordon's attic, as no one would bother her. If she were bothered it definitely would not be a good thing. She hollered out to Gordo, telling him where she was going. After that, she added something that made Gordo shiver, she said to come up in an hour, she would have finished by then. For the life of him Gordo couldn't understand what caused him to shiver, blissfully unaware of the millions of thoughts running through his best friend's head. It was definitely for the better.  
  
Lizzie walked into Gordo's parents' room. She pulled down on the wire that brought the steps down. Slowly, she ascended the staircase. A single tear quickly fell down her cheek before she was even aware that she was crying. She hadn't expected to cry, that wasn't part of the plan. A fragile hand whipped up to her face to wipe the raw emotion off her cheek. She made it to the top of the stairs and pulled the staircase up. 'Here we go' she said silently in the back of her mind.  
  
The attic was in amazing condition, it was frequently a place Gordo went to just to chill out and ignore the world for awhile. There was something intoxicating in the air, almost drugging Lizzie into staying up there forever. She half expected to see something Gordo mistakenly left up here, but he was always sure he had everything he brought with him when he left. She plopped herself down into the nearest chair, unfortunately for Lizzie she picked the oldest chair in the attic. It promptly collapsed under the girl's weight, causing a rather loud noise. 'Oh god, please don't let him come up, please god, please' she begged silently.  
  
Meanwhile, downstairs Gordo heard a noise that caused him to jump. For the second time this morning he fought his better judgement and didn't race up to the attic. 'She told me she wanted an hour, she'll get an hour and nothing more or less. She's a big girl, she can take care of herself.' Gordo tried to convince himself.  
  
Sighing, Lizzie picked herself up from the ground, thankful that she had the sense to raise her arm in the air when she felt herself falling. The camera was fine. She picked a sturdier chair and started to fiddle with the camera. After a moment of playing with the camera, it turned on. 'Here goes nothing'.  
  
After the hour past, Gordo swiftly walked to his parents' room and pulled down the stairs. Oddly, the sound of Gordo racing up the stairs didn't wake Lizzie. Absolutely petrified at the seemingly non-moving body of his best friend, Gordo began to weep. Loudly. Loud enough to wake Lizzie.  
  
"God, Gordo! What's wrong?!" Lizzie got up and ran over to him.  
  
The tears of anguish quickly turned to tears of joy.  
  
"Nothing, I just thought..nothing. Nevermind." Gordo, embarrassed, tried to cover up.  
  
"Anyway, what did you want me to come up here for?" he asked.  
  
Shaking ever so slightly, Lizzie handed Gordo the camera, again avoiding his gaze. But this time Gordo would have none of it. With one hand he took the camera and with the other he cupped it gently under her chin. He slowly turned her face until he could look into her eyes.  
  
"Lizzie, no matter what is on this tape, you're still my best friend. Now until forever." Gordo stressed.  
  
"I want you to watch it up here, but not until I get into your room. Give me two minutes." She tore away from him and quickly walked down the stairs, eventually to his room. Nervously, Gordo turned on the camera.  
  
Lizzie's face filled the small screen, and after a moment she began to speak.  
  
"Hey Gordo. I could never find the words to say this to you face to face, so I figured this was more personal than me writing an email. You're probably wondering why I couldn't just tell you and that I had to go into your attic, eh? I don't exactly know why I couldn't, so I'm just going to get to what I have to say. I..I need help. I can't deal with life anymore. There's just. so much pressure on me that I can't. deal with anything anymore. I'm sure you've noticed this. After Miranda's death I completely withdrew myself from you, and I'm really sorry about that Gordo. You're my best friend, my life, literally my life. If it were for you." she paused, seeming to be searching for words, "If it weren't for you I can honestly say I wouldn't be here right now. You can't even begin to know how many times I've thought about killing myself. I was actually going to do it now, but I couldn't. I..I need...you." the tape ended. 


	2. All the things you said

Author's Note: Hey all, I would like to thank the people who reviewed my story. You guys rock my world. This next chapter is dedicated to you all. This chapter is betaless; so, as usual, all mistakes are my own. On to the continuation!  
  
David Gordon didn't know what to do. He didn't know whether to cry or to be happy. The former because of the current state his best friend was in, and the latter because she didn't go through with the deed. He also didn't know if he should go talk to Lizzie, doubtless she was waiting for him in his room. He had sensed that something was not quite right with her after Miranda's death. But that was perfectly understandable, her best friend had been killed, grieving was inevitable. It fact, it would have been much stranger if Lizzie *wasn't* depressed for a little while.  
  
  
  
What he didn't understand was why Lizzie hadn't told him about this earlier. She knew that he would instantly drop everything he was doing at any moment to help her out. It truly hurt him to know that she didn't come to him immediately when she started having these thoughts. 'But now is not the time to be pissed off Gordon, don't be selfish. You're best friend is down in your room, probably scared to death that you'll yell at her. Get your rear in gear, Gordon.' he angrily thought to himself. What kind of person was he to be upset with someone who obviously wasn't right in the head and the present time?  
  
Gathering up the remainder of his quickly fleeting strength, Gordo went downstairs to his room. Hesitating for a moment, he knocked on the closed door. A grunt emitted by Lizzie was enough to reassure Gordo to open the door. Turning the silver doorknob, he quietly walked into his room, closing the door behind himself. It was more habit than anything that he shut the door, there was no one to disturb them anyway.   
  
He cautiously walked over to Lizzie, who was curled in a fetal position. There was makeup smudged on Gordo's bed, mostly mascara, obviously from her crying and rolling around on it. Unsure of what to say, he sat upon the bed and scooted over to his friend. Lizzie rolled over to face her friend. Her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying she had been doing. If he thought the bed had a lot of mascara on it, well, the bed didn't hold a candle to the state Lizzie's face was in.  
  
"I...I." she began, nervously unsure of how exactly she needed to begin this. Thankfully, Gordo realized that this situation didn't need words...yet.  
  
"No Liz, don't. Not yet. Just, come over here." Gordo leaned over and gently wrapped his arms around Lizzie's legs and her waist, hoisting her up and placing her on his lap. Gordo tenderly cradled his crying companion in his arms, steadying her heaving frame. He crossed his legs and began slowly rocking back and forth, calming his friend down. Lizzie leaned into Gordo, resting her throbbing head on his chest. Eventually her ragged breathing got shallower, and she fell into a serene state of rest.  
  
Softly, Gordo managed to get Lizzie into his bed, under the covers. He quickly removed her shoes and socks so she would slumber more comfortably and peacefully. He got into bed with her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. At least when she woke up she would be at ease in her friend's arms. Lizzie was too worked up for Gordo to even attempt to discuss things with her, so he decided that tomorrow was another day.   
  
So many things were running through Gordo's head, just lying there, spooning Lizzie. He could feel her tremble in her sleep, probably having a nightmare of something or other.  
  
"It's all right Liz, I'll be here when you wake up." Gordo lowly said, tightening his grip on her. After about 15 minutes Gordo followed his friends example, but he fell into a dreamless sleep.   
  
Tomorrow would definitely be an interesting day.  
  
Author's Note: Sorry there's another one, but I do believe this involves some explanation. Gordo and Lizzie are seniors in High School. Miranda was killed by a driver high on cocaine a few months ago. Lizzie never fully recovered from it. If there are any more questions, please ask. I'll answer them in the next chapters Author's note. Please R/R, I love hearing from you. Thanks! 


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